Lovely piece! I am not necessarily the best with critiquing, but I will give it a try.
Vision : I love the angle you chose to depict the eye from. The side of the eye is drawn much less frequently than a more direct view. Overall I think it makes it more appealing and interesting.
Originality : I gave you the middle score for originality, because I do believe the angle adds a new twist on it, but eyes are drawn extremely frequently.
Technique : The technique is one of the stronger points here, I believe. However (this may be wrong as I don't know if you referenced a picture) it looks to me that the lashes are slightly overdone. If your aim is aesthetic appeal over realism, there is nothing wrong with that. They just look a little longer and thicker than real lashes to me. The pupil also looks off center, but again, that could easily be the picture you referenced. Overall, I like the sketchy feel to it. It's refreshing in contrast with the heavily blended realism that is common with graphite.
Impact : It's a piece that stands out greatly. Eyes are a wonderful subject in that they always draw the viewer in. I may have to try on myself after seeing this!